Memoirs

2007/9/24

another year...

@ 08:54 AM (26 months, 11 days ago)

i misssed your birthday-that became painfuly obvious when i went on your blog saw another pic of you and him-hes your freind .iam not-its obvious what he is to you-hes the one that remenbers your birthday-come to be with you-writes and dedicates his blog to you-calls you all the time and remembers your birthday and does special things to you thats what a freind is-iam not that-happy belated birthday-i wish you all the best

the fault is entirely mine not you-lesson learnt-theres no place for me in your life p it got filled a long time ago-its becoming more clear everyday-i have an awful memory -i cant even remember my father's birthday -i can tell you the aggregate imput of fed capital infusiion into the market in i month it stands at 350 billion-more important things i forget-you have no fault here it is all me-i have accepted it now

2007/9/18

memories...

@ 09:11 AM (26 months, 17 days ago)
you just dont know how hard it was for me...i almost grab the shit out of you that one time we was on the elevator alone until i caught myself

2007/9/9

you....

@ 10:22 AM (26 months, 26 days ago)
you know i want to say this-i love you and i always will-call this all a
fantasy its not to me-you have a part of me that runs so deep i cant get rid
of you from within-and theres part of me that does not want to-part of me
that does-i dont want to out of dislike just because i dont want my needs my
wants destroying what i have with you-i dont want to pressure you-i dont
want to hurt you-i want to support you even if it means seeing others move
closer to you-for a long time now ive been reactionary -not proactive-what i
want most now is my freindship back-sure hearing about your incredible ass
would be nice-but what hurts me what has more meaning to me is the closeness
i had with you it is that i see dissapearing and you having with a-
like the picture says lost for words-no words are needed.iam going to
go back to what i had when i first met you-freindship

2007/9/7

the last few months...

@ 06:37 AM (26 months, 28 days ago)

so many things to tell i don't really know where to start...i'm away from the internet and my internet life has changed a lot. besides that last month my twin came to visit me for over a week and it was a very good experience, clean and pleasant. with E everything is fine...i explain to him what was going on and what i wanted from him and he is always trying to get what he wants....but in a good way...it's funny. now that he has a new one in his life things are much better for him and he's much more relaxed. L has been visiting my blog every single day since i posted a few pics with my twin ...i suppose he wants to know more.... he lost all his magic...at least for me he did...M sent me a text message yesterday after a month or so without a word...i suppose he just wanted to give me more time....i didn't answer...don't wanna go on with that...too expensive...not worth it...

2007/9/3

a few days of reality

@ 07:44 AM (27 months, 2 days ago)
it's morning and I'm sitting on my couch half asleep with my coffee and my laptop .......and I miss u. I suppose a lot stayed unsaid between us the most important for me is to tell u that I truly appreciate the effort u made to come here and spend time with me...all u had to go through to get in here....thank u twin...for me it was like a dream come true cause u are exactly the man I expected u to be.....my sweet twin. now all it's left it's a sweet feeling of knowing u much better...I know the way u smell, the way u look, the way u feel....and memories....pictures in my head that I know with time they'll fade away....but the main thing...the feeling in my heart ...that's gonna stay....miss u baby
 
 
 
I cant believe the first day back in my office environment you would have me in tears...well not bad tears but after reading your letter i was filled with joy. I know that it must have been hard for you not knowing how to act with me being there and it was like if was not. Seing you for the first time i was shocked because your pictures on when you was on the cam...well they did not do you no justice as in real life. You are a beautiful woman P and the memories i have here with me from our trip will be branded in my mind never to go away.
 
I will try to get a card this week and give you a call but please if there was anything that made you feel uncomfortable about E being said or a look that you might not have shared with me then i am saying sorry on her behalf. Anyways i got a surprise for you and i hope you like it. Don't even try to figure it out because you wont be able to...smile. Let me get back to work.